haha! I bet you thought this post was going to be about handling nursery kids and their separation anxiety!! Nope. It's about mine from the nursery! This is the first Sunday without going to nursery, starting a new ward, and it was nerve-racking to me!! Seriously, it took all my strength to not find the nursery in the new ward and RUN TO IT!! To start singing and playing and teaching and doing all the normal stuff I do..err did. sigh.
Alright, alright. I will write about separation anxiety in nursery children. First of all, please understand that I DO NOT like the "sneak out." And yes, I will discourage it to any parent. Rarely does it work. Instead, I first explain to parents my philosophy and plan. Generally, children around 18 months are just beginning to grasp the concept of "object permanence." That is the mental ability to acknowledge that just because something can not be seen does not mean it does not exist anymore. While peek a boo and hiding a toy under a blanket is hiliarious to young children dissappearing mom, dad, or any caretaker NOT SO MUCH! Add that to the fact for the last 18 months of life they were hardly out of your sight while at church...it is like a double whammy to be dropped off in a room with a person they don't know with a bunch of kids. Now, some kids are naturally ready and can just be dropped off in the nursery.
Other children need time. Here is the plan. It is super simple. You need a good co-leader or assistant and a timer and maybe ear plugs. A good co-leader to either hold/entertain/distract the child or direct the other children in the nursery for activities and the ear plugs because sometimes they scream. lol With the parents set an amount of time that the child will stay in the nursery, for example I generally use 10 minutes. If I was the one with the new child I would try to distract them with toys or singing all the while telling them in a few minutes I will take you to mom (dad, grandma, ect.) At the end of the time; TAKE THEM TO THAT PERSON. The idea here is to build trust; mom goes to her class and you come to your class after class I will take you to mom. Over the next few weeks slowly extend that time. Always telling them after snack time or singing time or whatever we will take you to mom. And never lie. If you say you will take them, take them!
This usually takes a couple months or so of Sundays, but generally it works. However, you must remember every child is different. Talk to the parents or grandparents or who ever brings them, this is why visits to their homes is a good thing. You get to know the child and his/her personality ahead of time. I remember one child and his mother.. attached to each other. It was obvious that they had a special bond. It was hard to break. This mother would sit against a backwall for the entire 2 hours of church encouraging him to play with the other children or sing for a few months. Around the fourth month she started leaving after 1 hour 45 minutes. Tell him "See ya, be back in 15 minutes." and leave. Yes, he cried and screamed. She over the next several months slowly add 15 minutes to her time away "see ya, be back in 30 minutes..45 minutes... an hour.." Until one day, she finally just dropped him off saying "see ya, be back in 2 hours!" I remember that boy still having a rough start each time he was dropped off in the nursery, but he had fanastic nursery leaders that just loved, loved, loved him! Today, he is in Valiant 10 class, and yes, we still have a very close bond!!
It is important to remember that nursery class isn't for every child at 18 months. It isn't a magically number that means the child is ready for that big change. I encourage all parents to be mindful of their child(ren) and pray about when she or he should enter the nursery and how. Work together with the nursery leaders!!
The manual has many more ideas to help ease the transition from a parents side to the nursery, so check them out either online or ask your ward nursery leader for a copy from the manual.
God bless!!
PS if you want to pray that I get called back into the nursery in my new ward I will not be offended. hee-hee!!
